▷ 🥇 The 5 secrets to living your best life during wedding planning

Photograph by Camille Leigh

Raise your hand if movies, TV, and Instagram influencers falsely convinced you that wedding planning would be glamorous, easy, and fun. Oh look, it’s 100 percent hands! So, yes, breaking news, wedding planning is fun, and there are magical moments, but overall, it can be really stressful, demanding, anxiety-inducing and downright irritating! Something about spending a lot of money, facing fast-approaching deadlines, and trying to please dozens of important friends and family at once tends to wear a person down. But you don’t have to give in to stress completely. While we can’t teach you how to make your planning process worry-free, we can share some tips on how to protect yourself from negativity and keep living that better life while planning. And we mean more than just staying organized, starting early, and staying on budget.

Here’s how to live your best life while planning the wedding.

Learn about the topics that interest you and feel free not to discuss them.

In the months between your engagement day and your wedding day, well-intentioned people will ask you a lot of questions about how the planning is going, because they will want to appear interested, and they will think you are dying to talk about your wedding. And maybe you are, but there are probably some topics that cause you greater anxiety than you would rather not talk about (table setting, anyone?). Being reminded of these over and over by unfamiliar friends and family will increase your stress and just make you angry… .. It will help you if you identify the things you don’t like to talk about early on, and if someone brings them up, just come up with a smile: “That’s really stressful for me right now, can we talk about anything other than that? Yes, you will have to address these issues eventually, but no, you don’t have to discuss them over and over again during a little chat in the work kitchen.

Clarify the truths of the wedding.

Another thing you literally don’t have to deal with while you’re knee-deep in wedding planning? People talking about what weddings are like sooo stuuuuupid . You will definitely come across people like this during your wedding planning journey, and they are definitely entitled to their opinion, but your opinion is definitely not useful to you, a person literally currently planning a wedding. It would be no different if you said, “Birthday parties are a huge waste of time” to someone who is stressed out about planning their 30th party. Just. Not necessary. If someone comes to you with this nonsense, feel free to politely shut it down, for your own sanity’s sake. If possible, stay out of their way until after your big day – you don’t have the time or energy to argue about the pros of having a wedding with this person.

Being engaged should be a super romantic moment in a couple’s relationship, but wedding planning can sweep away the romance in no time and replace it with arguments and busy schedules. That they are not romantic. It can be easy to forget all the reasons why you are marrying your amazing partner to begin with! So do yourself a favor: Make one day of the week off-limits for any and all wedding talk, whatever. Go out on a date, and remember who you once were (and who will continue to be after your wedding day passes). Have fun, talk about life, work, whatever, just stay connected on the much more important things that happen in your lives. The wedding-free zone will keep you sane, and checking on each other as life partners from time to time, rather than just wedding planning partners, will keep the vibe good for when the wedding sh * t really. hit the fan. Lastly, you’ll be happy to keep the romance alive once you unlock that honeymoon suite – Wink, wink, wink!

Don’t go it alone, even if you think you can.

With so many moving parts and so many hands in the mix, you might think it’s easier to do everything yourself if you want it done right! Do not do this. No matter how well you are under pressure, no matter how experienced you are in event planning, no matter how much you like to make decisions and hate being commanded, make this your mantra: No. Wedding. It can be planned. Only. Accept help anytime you want, no matter how it presents itself, whether your bridesmaids offer you a craft night or your future mother-in-law offers you a shopping session (trust me, you will need the arms and the pair of eyes! additional!). It takes a village, and taking it for yourself is a one-way ticket to the crazy city, there is almost a 0 percent chance that you will go through the entire planning process without losing your mind on someone, or something, or in both. That is not living your best life. Find the helpers in your life and let them do their job; in turn, make sure that you are grateful, loving, and helpful when they need you one day. Oh, and, addendum: Letting people help you doesn’t mean letting people give you unsolicited wedding advice over and over again. See # 1 and # 2, above.

Do like Elsa and let it go.

Let me give you an anecdote. To soften the lighting on my barn ceiling, I fell in love with the idea of ​​renting cafe lights. I asked the owner to see if we could make it happen, and she said… no. I didn’t take it lightly. I called my mother, my coordinator, my future wife, all yelling. I wrote to people, I wrote Tweets. I complained to friends, coworkers, innocent people who made my salads. I became obsessed with string lights. Simply put, I have my cafe lights, but on my wedding day, I don’t even remember seeing them. They were there? Did they matter? Who cares! I didn’t, I was too busy having a great time. What I will never forget, however, is how crazy I felt during the few weeks that the “lightgate” kept me awake at night. Bottom line: The things you obsess over at your wedding will never be as important as the energy and good vibes you waste obsessing over them. Unless the thing in question is really important (like something related to family), try letting it go if you feel like it’s not going to work out. No light, napkin, candle, flower or song is worth missing a moment of living your best life – trust someone who has been there.