BrideFeed Editors
Photo: Jason Burns Photography
We are Marlene and Devin from Outlined Cloth. Together we run a couple’s lifestyle blog where you can find fashion and travel advice on our many adventures. You may have seen us at WeddingWire during our Insta donuts purchase. Since then, we have been married on July 7, 2021 at Casa Romántica in San Clemente, California. It was beautiful beyond measure and it turned out to be everything we could have imagined. That said, as we plan the most important day of our life, we will inevitably run into some speed bumps. As picturesque and perfect as the day was, it didn’t come without its previous challenges. Fortunately, this helped us understand how to navigate through conflict and discover our best way to communicate as a newly married couple.
Table of Contents
So, here are the top 4 things we discussed during wedding planning – and how we solved them:
Money
I’m sure this is the number one cause of conflict in most relationships, much less when both of you are about to throw away A LOT of money planning a wedding. Think of it as an investment and make sure you are on a united front from the start. Devin and I started by talking about the type of wedding we wanted: Would it be big? Destiny? Or maybe we would just run away? It is important to have a realistic expectation of how much everything is really going to cost and where most of that money is going to go. We created a budget using a detailed spreadsheet documenting each expense, and then we negotiated with the vendors and asked them a ton of questions beforehand so there were no surprises in the end. One surprise that we did not take into account was the tip. Even though our salespeople didn’t need a tip (some don’t read the fine print!), We disagreed as to how much we were going to give and to whom. Our solution? Check back on the budget and make a compromise on the final price. Plan all of this BEFORE the hand assuming that you will be happy with the services, of course. We prepare cash in envelopes and designate the job to someone we trust. This way we wouldn’t have to talk about money during our wedding and have fun!
Photo: Jason Burns Photography
Participation
Many times all the planning falls on the shoulders of the bride and it can honestly be overloaded. I found myself losing my cool a month ago, when most payments were due and all final decisions had to be made. “Do we want to throw pillows for the sofas? What color should they be? How many do we need ?! ” These were my burning questions after dragging my fiancé to the nearest store much to his chagrin and he finally ended up with a tearful confession in the parking lot: “I can’t do this myself. My head is swimming with all the final details and I need your help. ” Immediately, Devin updated the checklist using the WeddingWire app. It was much easier to see everything in one place and both have easy access to it. We divided the list and set out to conquer each of them together. Oh, and we rejected the idea of the pillow. One less thing to worry about.
To invite, or not to invite, that is the question.
I come from a large extended family and although we would have loved to include everyone, our venue could only accommodate a limited number of people. Unfortunately, the same can be said for good friends and colleagues. Let’s be honest, someone is going to get hurt. How do you decide between friends and family who don’t see each other regularly? Or coworkers you see every day but don’t spend time outside of the office with? Although this did not cause a specific argument between us per se, it was a source of weighted discussion. We came up with the golden rule of the guest list: past, present and future. Ideally, they should fall into two of the three categories. Were they old family friends who lost contact but still want to reconnect? Do you go out to dinner all the time and see them in your life as a new married couple? Have they been a great help in the planning process and did you meet from college? This method seemed to work well for us and helped us with our biggest inviting hurdles.
Photo: Jason Burns Photography
Food
Although we agree on most food-related products, we likely had one or two things that our taste buds disagreed on. For us, that’s dessert. Although I’m a huge fan of the tres leches cake (a traditional Mexican cake made up of three different milks), Devin can do without most of the sweets. We decided to think outside of the cake box and came up with the idea of the wedding dessert that would satisfy both of us. From ice cream sandwiches to chocolate fondue to a sherbet bar, we finally discovered that there was one sweet treat we had in common: DONORS! With so many different flavors to choose from, you win! We went with a local bakery that changes their donuts on a monthly basis when purchasing seasonal ingredients. These perfectly handcrafted donuts were a hit at our wedding. On the plus side, it was much more profitable and our most delicious compromise yet.
After all that was said and done, the things that seemed to wreck life and crash the Earth at the time didn’t really matter in the end. No one will remember the chairs or the flowers if you left with the rose gold silverware. What you will take away is the time you spend with all the people you love and remember that you should enjoy the trip instead of concentrating on the destination. Just like marriage!
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