Gone are the days when people had to explain to the curious what it meant to find love on the internet. In fact, “dating” and “online dating” are pretty much synonymous today, even for those looking for long-term relationships, says Dave Bowden, online dating expert and trusted coach. “In most circles, any stigma that used to exist around online dating has completely evaporated as the adoption of online dating apps and platforms has continued to rise, while in the early days of dating online it was novel to hear about a couple who met online and then got married, ”he says. “Today, so many people have adopted the Internet as their primary (and in many cases, their only) means of meeting people that many millennials say they don’t expect to meet someone by other means.”
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Whether you’re just considering finding love online or have several months of years into your journey, consider the dos and don’ts of online relationship professionals.
Do it: Include a little more information than average.
“The advantage of finding love online is that it allows you to pre-screen people and others to you, which can lead to better dates with people with whom you are more compatible; however, if you don’t provide enough information on your profile, people won’t be able to tell if you’re someone they think they’ll get along with, ”Bowden warns. “While it is true that no one wants to read me one as long as your dating profile is from Guerra y Paz, it is also true that a poorly completed profile gives the impression that you are only half serious when using any platform on the web. found, which may put some people off ”.
Don’t: Use old or misleading photos.
Of course you want to put your best face forward, so you can choose some of the most flattering photos you’ve ever taken. However, make sure they are recent and accurate (aka Photoshop). “Using a photo from when you were 10 years younger or 20 pounds less might help you get a first date, but it most likely won’t get you on a second, and you’ve wasted your time and your date,” says Bowden. “It’s better to be honest beforehand than to trick people into dating someone they didn’t expect.” He also suggests mixing up some photos of yourself with friends to reveal a bit more of your personality (and provide what marketers call “social proof”).
Do it: Show your sense of humor.
Just like meeting someone new in real life, humor can be one of the best ways to be so charming and fun to be online, according to Bowden. “A lot of people are intimidated at the idea of trying to look funny, but you don’t have to be a stand-up comedian or a natural joker to inject a little humor into your profile,” he says. He recommends making a first draft of your profile without thinking about humor, and then finding two or three places to make fun of yourself or add a bit of humor.
Don’t: Bombard people with messages.
When it comes to messaging, Bowden says it’s better to focus on quality rather than quantity. “While it may be tempting to throw a quick Hey at hundreds of people who look attractive, chances are that most of those messages will not get a response,” he explains. “It is better to identify a handful of people who attract and interest you, and send longer messages that can spark real conversations.”
Do it: Be specific in terms of what you are looking for in a partner.
Not everyone is on the same digital page. “If you are newly single and want to go out with several people or play in the field, do not check the box that says you are looking for marriage, and if you are looking for marriage or a serious relationship, do not be afraid to say so,” says Julie Spira, online dating expert and digital matchmaker. “You are going to attract someone who wants the same kind of relationship as you.”
Don’t: Mention your ex.
In the stage of life where you are participating in online dating, it is no surprise if you have an ex; however, it is better not to mention it. “Complaining that your ex was a bad father, or that your divorce sets a negative tone on your profile,” Spira warns. “People want to date someone who is happy and who can add pleasure to their life, they are not looking for someone who does not leave their luggage behind.”
Do it: Manage your emotions.
Like most things in life, finding love online comes with its share of ups and downs. For this reason, Paulette Sherman, Psy.D., psychologist, director of My Dating & Relationship School and author of Dating from the Inside Out , explains that it helps to practice emotional regulation through attention or meditation so that you respond in an objective and focused way and do not personalize the behaviors of other people who are dating as a personal rejection.
Don’t: Lose hope.
Many singles lose hope when they write prospects and don’t listen or get spooky, which is understandable, explains Dr. Sherman. However, it is better to keep an optimistic attitude when finding love online. “When you think about it, online dating is much more mentally challenging than anything else; for example, if you had to go to singles events, they would probably be more expensive, time-consuming and often more depressing, “he says. “Online dating sites have more specific prospects for less money and you can do it on your own schedule from your pajamas at home, so it’s important to manage their expectations and psychology.”